Debunked: 5 Surrogacy Myths
"Try to learn something about everything, and everything about something.” - Thomas Huxley
Everyone knows a little information about a lot of different topics, right? But how much of that information is based on what we have researched compared to what we’ve simply heard? Many times, our common knowledge comes from hearing someone speak on a topic, and often those “facts” are based on stereotypes, myths, urban legends, and good ol’ misinformation.
The way information is readily available, it’s easy to accept something as truth and factual without researching it. Don’t fret- it doesn’t have to stay that way!
We may not have the time to dive into the plethora of the misinformation that’s out there, but what do you say we debunk 5 myths about surrogacy?!
Myth #1
A surrogate shares the same DNA as the baby.
In terms of traditional surrogacy, the answer is yes. Traditional surrogacy uses the surrogate mother’s egg, and inseminates the surrogate with the intended father’s sperm. Before IVF technological advances, this method was the only choice for surrogacy.
Nearly since the birth of time through the 1980s.
Traditional surrogacy, while still practiced, isn’t nearly as common nowadays. Today’s surrogates (aka gestational surrogate/carrier) have no biological ties with the baby. She is providing a superlative growing atmosphere for the created embryo.
The first known non-biologically related child born via surrogacy was in 1986. Only 33 years ago!
In this People article published in 1987, you’ll learn about the couple and their struggle as they journey to have their dream- a baby to call their own.
It’s a delightful read!
Myth # 2
Surrogates will become emotionally attached and try to keep the baby.
After going through a year of preparation (including the pregnancy) to provide a viable and healthy growing environment, it’s only natural to believe the surrogate will become emotionally attached to the baby.
Oh, the horror stories you probably have heard and read!
The intended parents have put so much time and effort into this process, and the last thing WCS (or any agency) would want is to add anymore distress!
Surrogates often are embarking on a journey once they feel their families are, for the time being, complete and/or are not wanting anymore children of their own. On the opposite end of the worrisome spectrum, surrogates can be concerned with being left with a child that isn’t theirs.
Thankfully, the intended parent(s) and surrogates sign a very extensive and legally binding contract to protect all parties involved.
When there is uncertainty on both sides, it goes beyond a contract for precautions to be put into place to make sure these nightmares do not become a reality.
Prior to matching and the legal contract, an in-depth psychological screening is given to the surrogate and their respective partner (the intended parents also have a psychological consultation) to determine if the surrogate and partner can emotionally and psychologically manage the surrogacy process- and moreover, understand the baby isn’t theirs.
It’s the role of West Coast Surrogacy to alleviate any concerns, and to provide information and support before embarking on this life-changing journey.
Myth # 3
Surrogacy is legal in all 50 states.
In terms for surrogacy, most are not familiar with what makes one state easier and safer to work with than others. What does surrogacy friendly mean?
The short and sweet: certain states have laws (or a history of favorable rulings) which recognizes and permits surrogacy. Some states have different laws county by county. With many factors involved such as if an egg donor was used, is it a same-sex couple, is a couple married, if a court hearing is required, etc., agencies and intended parents will most likely work within states where the laws are favorable for the intended parent(s) and surrogate.
Thankfully, these laws are ever changing with more states recognizing surrogacy- check here to see the laws in your state!
Myth # 4
Surrogacy is a great way to earn money- fast!
Sorry to burst your bubble, but there is no such thing as fast cash! Especially in terms of surrogacy.
For one, compensation is made in installments, not one lump sum, and typically does not begin until the first heartbeat flutter is detected.
Why?
Everyone involved from the agency to the IVF physicians to the intended parents are deeply invested emotionally and financially. We want to make sure any positive pregnancy tests are not false-positives or chemical pregnancies.
It’s enticing to want to go with the highest paying agency. We totally get it! The money from a surrogacy journey can go to securing an educational future for your children, a down payment on a house, paying of those blasted student loans, etc. While it is tempting, make sure the agency is looking out for you!
WCS looks out for our surrogates. Not just in our competitive compensation, but more importantly in knowing we have your best interest at heart! We want nothing more than our surrogates to be compensated for their efforts, energy, and time, but not out of financial desperation. This is one of the many reasons West Coast Surrogacy follows the American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommended guidelines.
Myth #5
Any woman can be a surrogate.
Well, not exactly. We touched on the basic criteria for applying in our previous post, but to move forward it goes beyond that. Our board of OB-GYN specialists comb through the details of your medical history confirming your body can venture into another pregnancy.
A healthy body and lifestyle = a safe journey.
For WCS, our surrogates are more than just women who can carry and birth healthy children. This isn’t Handmaid’s Tale!
Likewise, a dedicated support system is a necessity. Knowing you have someone (or multiple people) to lean on during this process is crucial. We recognize how your emotional state can affect you mentally, and in the same manner affect your body.
While your heart may be in the right place, your health - physically and mentally- is a priority!
What percentage of women who apply to become a surrogate reaches their goal?
7%.
Yes, you read that number correct. Less than 10% of women who apply with West Coast Surrogacy move on to become surrogates.
This isn’t to discourage you! We aren’t looking for carbon copies and replicas. If we all looked, thought, and acted the same our distinctive spark and magic of individuality would be lost.
Let’s chat- which debunked myth surprised you the most?!
